Well hello friends,
Advent is nearly upon us, the season begins this Sunday 3rd December. I have seen some gorgeous offerings and invitations in my email and across social media, and I am already overwhelmed.
Last year I hosted an Advent Retreat for a group of Women Clergy across Europe, which forced me to plant myself in the season earlier and I appreciated it. Most years I find myself in the first weekend of Advent scrabbling and overcommitting in a desperate hunt for the meaning I feel I’m supposed to find.
My first instinct is to sign up for all of the wonderful things and then spend December trailed by guilt and not-enoughness. I want to do all of these meaningful things, but I also want hygge home time and have a full child-centred calendar to contend with.
Why Advent?
Advent offers us a season to wait in the dark, to sit with all that is not right. Right here in parallel to the obnoxious shininess of Christmas. I feel the invitation of advent, to pay attention to the longing and lament. To hold space for the tension amongst the twinkly lights. I long to pause with Peace, but instead I find my shoulders rising in the tension of overwhelm.
I’d love to share some of the beautiful invitations that are around, but firstly I want to invite us all to reflect with some questions and posture ourselves. You could use these as journal prompts or ponder them as you go.
How do you feel? What do you need?
Take a moment to check in with yourself as we approach Advent. What feelings are in the mix for you right now? What needs are you noticing in yourself? Fun? Community? Meaning? Quiet? Action? Creativity?
Perhaps you greeted this post with an eye roll. You do not need any prompting towards Advent; you’re already overwhelmed, exhausted, full up and it simply feels like too much. In that case, give yourself the grace of accepting your season, and do what you need to get through. I hope you can lean in to micro-opportunities for nourishment and rest as you find them.
Perhaps you feel the draw to sit with something deeper in the midst of the jingle bells. Or maybe you find yourself seeking acknowledgement of the darkness and of the hope of light. If so…
What space or capacity do you have?
The Advent Season brings a different challenge to Lent. When we are thinking of taking on a ritual, a practice, some reading, something to listen to, it is against the backdrop of a socially demanding season. Before committing to Advent plans, I’m pausing to check in with what feels realistic for me. I know it would feel like an impossible demand to add another daily task into my life right now, so I’m considering one-off or irregular opportunities. I’ll put my current read on my pile of half-read tomes and pick up an Advent book instead, a swap rather than an addition. So I wonder where there might be space or capacity in your day to mark Advent?
Could you give yourself some time or space?
A friend of mine gives up social media every Lent and Advent and I’ll be following suit this year (I may still post, but I won’t scroll). This is my attempt to free myself up a bit. Is there any little window in your day that you could gently maximise (I realise this sounds like a Windows computer analogy!?)
How does this offering feel?
As you read through the offerings here, or receive other suggestions, how do they land with you? Do they feel spacious? Inviting? Helpful? Does it feel like a realistic plan given the time or space you have? Weigh the yes, and see what needs to shift to allow this to happen.
Who do you want to mark advent with?
It might be that you attend church and are held by the structure of marking weeks in your tradition and fellowship. Equally when you think about what you need in this season, it might be some sacred solitude. But it’s also possible that there are people you could share a practice with, read a book together, or attend the same online event and chat after.
Advent Opportunities
This is not about striving for completion, or stacking up a pile of to-dos to glance at guiltily. This is an opportunity to consider and choose one or two ways to mark Advent for yourself this year, and maybe bookmark something for next year too! I’d love to hear what are your favourite ways to mark advent? Is there anything particular you want to do this year?
Read
Last year I read The First Advent in Palestine by Kelley Nikondeha which I loved for her themes of lament and resistance and beautiful perspective of the Christmas story charaters. This book will feel all the more poignant and devastating this year.
“Griefwork is the seedbed for advent hope. We cannot grasp the fullness of the advent narratives to come without attending to the brokenness of our world. Lament is how we name and honour what has been lost or taken from us by one empire or another.”
This year I’m going to read Honest Advent by Scott Erickson. I’m looking forward to sitting with his simple art and engaging words.
“Our assumptions hinder our spiritual journey in all kinds of ways. And the antidote to assumption is surprise. The surprise of Christ’s incarnation is that it happened in Mary’s day as it is happening every day in your lack of resources, your overcrowded lodging, your unlit night sky, your humble surroundings. It’s a surprise that life can come through barren places. It’s a surprise that meek nobodies partake in divine plans. It’s a surprise that messengers are sent all along the hidden journey of life to let you know you’re not alone.” - Scott Erickson from Honest Advent
Paul reads A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens every December, and is also planning to read the Advent Readings from Iona.
Ritual
In overwhelm I often find myself returning to a simple breath prayer. A traditional Advent prayer is Maranatha ‘Come Lord Jesus’. This prayer can be a companion through our days, reached for in between moments.
I hope to light candles regularly, but I won’t beat myself up if it’s not daily. This embodied reminder of light in the darkness is a simple prayer of my heart and hands. I always aim to light candles each Sunday on an Advent wreath, perhaps this will be our year.
With the kids there is of course the chocolate calendars to mark and count down the days. We always celebrate St Nicholas (6th December) day with boots outside bedrooms mysteriously filled with chocolate coins, an orange and a decoration. I appreciate this opportunity to share the story of Santa’s roots in generosity and justice.
Retreat
Here are the details of a few retreat opportunities in case any of these fit with what you need.
The Iona Community are hosting ‘Writing Collects for Advent’ with Pádraig Ó Tuama on Zoom on Sunday 3rd December at 7.
Spiritual Director Fiona Koeffoed-Jesperson is hosting a Sacred Darkness retreat evening on Zoom on Tuesday 19th at 7:30pm (GMT). This is a moment to pause before the Winter Solstice and receive the treasures of the dark.
I will be sending out a self-led Wait & Wonder Retreat to paid subscribers as a thank you for your support this year, so look out for that in your inboxes.
How does Advent feel to you this year, and how do you like to mark it? Whatever your December looks like, may there be moments of peace and of joy and may we all be present to them.
Debbie
Bright star-maker God
Bright star-maker God,
travel with us
through Advent
shine into our
dark corners
lead us into
ways of justice
warm us
with joy and wonder
bring us
to new birth.
Ruth Burgess, from Candles & Conifers: Resources for All Saints’ and Advent, Wild Goose Publications