Tangled Vocations
Spiritual direction, motherhood and two spacious invitations
Hi I’m Debbie, a spiritual director, writer, host and mother based in Glasgow. I offer stories, ponderings and gentle invitations to share a moment with your soul.
Hello there,
I hope you caught a glimpse of sunshine and found a chance to pause over the Summer months, it seems Autumn is peeking around the corner.
It’s been 5 years since I started studying with the Ignatian Spirituality Centre and I still struggle to explain what Spiritual Accompaniment, also known as Spiritual Direction, actually is. Today I’m dodging the definition and sharing a little of my story instead.
Tuesday nights of soggy Autumn 2019 found me traipsing up the hill past Glasgow Art School to the ISC (Ignatian Spirituality Centre). The course was Growth through Prayer and Reflective Living, and my soul stretched out into the spaciousness I found there. Here was a place where my doubts and questions could co-exist alongside my quiet faith and trust. The group companionship was treasured, the insights significant, and the time to pause alone with the Divine was deeply restorative. Alongside the course I received one-to-one Spiritual Accompaniment which graced me with the pause to listen to my self and consider the nuance of my own spiritual walk. Of course our group cohort moved on to Zoom in Spring of 2020, and as we finished I kept thinking of this picture from a walk in the Drakensburg Mountains of South Africa.
This was the sacred I had encountered in that time: God as a wide open welcoming space.
My twins were due to be born in Summer of 2020; I remember speaking to the course director late in my pregnancy about my application for the next course. She dared to suggest that the timing might not be ideal for me to continue. I wavered, I checked in with some friends to discern if this was ambitious, or if it might be just what I needed. But inside I knew, it was what I both wanted and needed.
So I continued to study Spiritual Conversation that year and Spiritual Accompaniment the next. We recruited ‘essential childcare support’ from friends & family for my Zoom weekends, and I fed the babies in snatched tea breaks. I sat on the floor of the nursery, or stood at my nappy-changing standing desk. I exhaustedly typed essays and I relished the teaching, the conversations and even the triads. We took terrifying turns to listen to one another and to observe. I shared my life in 10-15 minute slices to disembodied faces across the world and found myself crying, connecting, held. Filled up for the ensuing days of buggy walks and biscuit breaks.
One day a fully formed idea landed with me as I pulled another load of tiny clothes out of the washing machine. A retreat for women who had given birth in 2020 to share their stories. I had missed the opportunity to share stories of the hospital and the early days. There were no toddler groups, we were so restricted in how we could socialise, and life with a newborn (or two) is already an exhausting, beautiful chaos. I knew the lifeline that authentic friendships with other mums had been. I wondered how it would be to offer this reflective space for mothers. Could I invite women to take the time to reflect and process for themselves, but also to share and connect together? I spoke to friends seeking permission and confidence and found cheerleaders who helped me take the leap from idea into action and it was a joy to host those gatherings.
I became a mum of four and a spiritual director in the same season, the two will always be delightfully tangled for me. Motherhood is a time of intense challenge and change, with few opportunities to pay attention to the inward journey. Often the desire is there, but is quashed under the piles of laundry and the need for an early night. Offering an invitation to take time away with others gives permission and gentle accountability to grant ourselves the gift of time and head space. I still want to offer that gift of space to turn our gaze inwards. Yes for mums (because I know that path well), but I know we’re not the only ones with busy lives and a desire to lean into the inner journey.
I love my Spiritual Accompaniment work in the faith space, companioning individuals as they honestly question, search for, wrestle with God in their actual lives. And I also love holding the space for soul deep reflections in a non-religious setting. It would be simpler to brand myself if I were offering one or the other: Christian accompaniment or secular soul space. The truth is I love to hold space for a breadth of humanity; ‘a host of soul spaces’.
I continue to learn, to hone my skills, to walk my own faltering faith journey. I continue to dream up offerings, spaces to quieten down enough to listen to our own selves. I have a couple of lovely opportunities coming up if you are feeling the nudge towards taking space for yourself. Please get in touch if you have any questions about either of these, and it’d be lovely if you could share them with anyone you think might be interested.
If you’re local to Glasgow…
I will be holding an Autumnal Soul Session on Sunday 20th October from 2-4 at The Charter in Tollcross. This is a chance to slow down for some peaceful reflection, playful creativity and warm conversation. Soul Sessions are open to those of all faiths or none. At these gathering we start with a stilling to become present together, then I’ll offer some thoughts on our theme, there’s time to journal or create in response to prompts and then an opportunity to share together.
Get in touch if you have questions or would like to book a space.
You can see some of our previous themes here.
If you are a mum of Christian faith
(however you may express it)…
I am co-hosting Nurture: A Slow Journey Together for Mums with my friend and fellow spiritual director Jenny Walley.
We will meet six times over seven months for a simple prayer practice and the chance to share and listen to others. Together we will notice and bless the presence of God in the messy mundane. This is for you if you’d appreciate some encouragement in this wild adventure of mothering. Perhaps you’re seeking a spiritual practice in a season where everything has changed. Or you’d like a simple chance to take a sacred pause alongside other mums. Find all the information here
You can find out about other ways to work with me below:
It is my honour and delight to offer space for others to pause, and to listen to what emerges from those depths. Thanks for being here with me.
With love,
Debbie
HI Debbie, I can relate to this in many ways, the desire to hold space for people from many backgrounds and of many faith expressions and ways of being, being a mother with a "tangle" of vocations (I love that word), and being a mom of twin boys (although my boys were about 10 when I began my spiritual companioning training; they're 19 today, which is so hard to believe!). Thank you for sharing this. Blessings on all your vocations!
I'm so very glad you continue to create and hold space for both callings! My hunch is that both spaces are enriched by your engagement with the other. And all of us are enriched by your openness to bring all of yourself to your work. Love you.