A tale of three baby showers
and an invitation for the Mamas
Hi I’m Debbie, a spiritual director, writer and mother based in Glasgow. I offer stories, ponderings and gentle invitations to share a moment with your soul. I host a variety of soul spaces, and today I’m sharing about that work.
Hello friends,
I hope this finds you well, and that life is offering you moments to feel the sun on your face, and enjoy shared smiles in the midst of it all. Below is the tale of my three baby showers, and news of a fun collaboration. Motherhood (and it’s beginnings) can be a tender and complicated topic, so if it won’t be helpful to hear these stories today, please sit this one out and be kind to yourself.
The first Baby Shower I attended was my own. It was hosted by my thoughtful, creative friends Colletta and Petunia, and joined by a party of neighbours from our community in Soshanguve, South Africa. A favourite local game at baby showers was for the mum-to-be to guess the contents before unwrapping the presents and I was embarrassingly terrible at it, being new to the whole baby thing. Our community were dedicated to hosting and celebrating together. We ate a feast, we twerked (again, not my skillset), played games, everyone and their aunties came along, and the local kids joined in whenever they could sneak in. Although I was far from home on those dusty streets I had some dear friends who walked with me and accompanied me into motherhood.
A couple of years later, back in Glasgow, I walked into an attic room worried I was interrupting a meeting and found myself in my second baby shower. It was an utter surprise, in an orange glowing room with new friends. We were not long back from South Africa, had already moved once and were planning the second move before the baby’s arrival. I felt adrift in transition, but found myself anchored by the love of these friends as we ate brownies and they wrote notes of encouragement on nappies.
My 2020 baby shower was, of course, on Zoom, a covert operation of Whatsapp chats and doorstep drop-offs. The tiny screen squares filled with my favourite faces and I ached (like my legs) to see them in person. I wanted to introduce everyone to one another, to linger and mingle. We paused for Suzi to join in an Inverurie street singalong of ‘We’ll Meet Again’. Everyone guessed which twin would arrive first, and they gathered words on a card which I reread often in those early twin days. Words reaching across isolation to offer courage and strength.
Three baby showers, four babies, three very different chapters and one love smothered mother. Being celebrated is not a comfortable location for me, but I feel a deep warmth as I remember these occasions. I’ve heard it said ‘it takes a village to raise a mother1’, and I am grateful for the women (and men) who have walked alongside me. These gorgeous memories are highs amongst the mundane, the shrinking, the stretching, the constancy of parenting. Behind each of these celebrations were a variety of friendships and connections grown in the everyday, where there have also been times of loneliness. As I have experienced being held in circles of motherhood, I long to do the same for others. We need tender spaces where our exhaustion is honoured, our micro-successes cheered and where our souls can catch their breath.
This is why I’m so excited about a new offering and collaboration with Jenny Walley, Spiritual Director, (and also fellow twin mum) - Nurture: Group Spiritual Direction for Mums.
Spiritual Direction (or Spiritual Accompaniment) provides an opportunity for us to pay attention to our own lives and notice Divine fingerprints. In Group Spiritual Direction we get to pay attention to the connections and shared graces in between us. I host a range of Soul Spaces, and this one will be rooted in the Christian Tradition that Jenny and I share, but is open to you wherever you find yourself on your spiritual journey.
This is for you if you’d appreciate some encouragement in this wild adventure of mothering. Perhaps you’re seeking a spiritual practice in a season where everything has changed. Or you’d like a simple chance to take a sacred pause alongside other mums.
We are meeting on Zoom on Tuesday June 11th 8-9:30pm BST, the cost is £15. Join us for a simple prayer practice and the chance to share and listen to others. Together we will notice and bless the sacred in the messy mundane. Click below to learn more and to register.
The June date is a stand alone event and we will offer a six-month group spiritual direction journey from September 2024. This will be an opportunity to gather (on Zoom) with a small group monthly to pause together. Click below to register your interest and get updates about this offering.
Maybe you know someone who would appreciate this invitation to take a moment, if so would you share this with them?
Thanks for joining me for this slightly self-indulgent trip down memory lane. Perhaps this offering isn’t for you, but you’re interested in exploring Spiritual Accompaniment on a one-to-one or in a different group setting. Do comment, or reply if you’d like to chat more.
With love,
Debbie
It was Lyndsy Carter I first heard say this.