Hello friends,
I hope this finds you well and stepping into July rather than crawling or stumbling. And if it is the latter, I hope that July will bring a change of pace or some relief. In my life June has been a new work opportunity plus the chicken pox1 minus my usual childcare arrangement2, which has equaled not much writing. I’m hoping to take advantage of the change of pace at home in the summer to get some words on paper.
Some Ponderings…
This feels like an appropriate time of year to consider Play and Fun, which we chatted about at a recent Sunday Soul Session3. I wonder when have you had fun recently? If I asked you as we walked or sat together, how would you respond? I’d probably dodge out of answering myself, it’s a question I find tricky. A podcast and a book both prodded at this recently, which helped me to see that this isn’t a shallow matter worth dismissing (as I often do), and actually touches something soul-deep.
While running along the Clyde walkway I listened to a Lazy Genius podcast entitled “What we Need to Have More Fun” in which she introduced me to Catherine Price and her book ‘The Power of Fun’ (Price’s website has lots of great accompanying resources). Price defines True Fun as ‘the intersection of play, connection, and flow’. Play is light-heated and free, and essentially non-productive. Connection can be with others, ourselves, nature, God, community, a pet, you get the idea. And flow, is the ‘uninterrupted flow of energy and presence in whatever you’re doing’. Flow is the one that seems most unfamiliar to me right now, as it’s not a friend of interruption and distraction.
As Price says in the forward to her book:
“One of the foundational issues we face, when it comes to making True Fun a priority, is that we’ve been conditioned to believe that the pursuit of fun—particularly our own fun—is frivolous, selfish, and self-indulgent, even immature and childish…But what we don’t realise is that, far from being frivolous or selfish, the pursuit of fun will help us achieve all of these goals. Life is not a zero-sum equation: we can care about fun and be conscientious citizens who are committed to improving the world—indeed, fun can give us more energy with which to do so.”
When I think about the intersection of play, connection and flow I am reminded of surfing in Tynemouth with friends 11 years ago (when I say surfing, I mean being knocked about in the water while trying to grasp a surfboard). My work was a source of stress and anxiety then, and I remember a moment in between waves when I noticed an unrecognisable feeling; I felt relaxed. Being in water continues to be a source of fun for me, one that I get to share with the kids now.
Listening to the True Fun podcast aligned with me reading ‘This is Not a Book About Benedict Cumberbatch’ by Tabitha Carvan. Spoiler, the book does talk about Benedict Cumberbatch a lot, but it is really about her claiming and leaning into this ‘interest’ just for the love and joy of it. Carvan compares this to the devotion to a sport team, which is a more socially acceptable form of play, especially for men. Quoting Brigid Schulte4 she notes that for women ‘there has never been a history or a culture of leisure or play’ and after childhood women ‘tend to lose play entirely’.
Now I know that there is nuance here, but I recognise the resistance to doing things just for myself, for fun. As is often the way, it is worth paying attention to the resistance. What does this say about how I see myself and my purpose? Fun can feel impossible versus the lists and the mental load. But in play there’s a deep choosing of myself, a tuning in to what I need, and a recognition of my own needs alongside the needs of others. It isn’t a quick fix - but it has repercussions worth noticing. Play is a form of soul care.
“There is a kind of magic in play. What might seem like a frivolous or even childish pursuit is ultimately beneficial. It’s paradoxical that a little bit of “nonproductive” activity can make one enormously more productive and invigorated in other aspects of life. When an activity speaks to one’s deepest truth…it is a catalyst, enlivening everything else.”
Stuart Brown - Play: How It Shapes the Brain, Opens the Imagination, and Invigorates the Soul
A few prompts…
Take some time to journal with these questions, or chat them over with a friend:
What is fun for you? What did you do for fun as a child?
What comes to mind when you think of something that was True Fun for you? Where Connection, Play and Flow were all present?
What inner resistance do you have to having fun for yourself?
A practice…
Complete the following sentence:
I give myself permission to…
and do yourself the honour of sticking to it.
Some lovely links…
Two friends who are also Spiritual Companions have recently moved their writing over to Substack and are well worth a read.
Jen Goodyer shared this lovely invitation to move at a slower pace.
And Fiona Koefoed-Jespersen shared about Joy as Resistance for the Summer Solstice, a sentiment not only for the longest day of the year:
I love to hear from you! Substack is a delightful platform for connection. What is play or fun to you? Let me know in the comments. Thanks for reading, and, may you find a moment, an hour, a day to follow your delight into play.
Not for me: 3/4 of our kids are getting through it just now, following the first getting it 2 weeks ago.
I’m always grateful for the grandparent care, and they need their holidays.
These are monthly Sunday Evening gatherings at my home, it's a time for some peaceful reflection, playful creativity and warm conversation.
from Brigid Schulte’s book Overwhelmed: How to Work, Love and Play When No One Has the Time.
I love your Sunday gatherings! We are trying to make sacred spaces for families but find it's a challenge to find the right time and space!
I love this. I recognised a few years ago that I am quite bad at playing! I don't like fancy dress parties, I prefer deep talks to board games, I have struggled to dance in company... I think it's linked to looking "silly" for me - there's shame somehow associated with silliness and so I avoid it. Recognising that though allows me to offer gentle invitations to play, and my kids have been a huge encouragement in that too. I draw and colour more often, dance more often, and am even trying to understand the whole roleplay world that they are getting into. My hope is it all contributes to that "soul care" as you describe it.
(and thanks for the shoutout!)