The stone, the tiny book of prayers and the puppy...
...and the Everyday Pilgrimage that led me to them.
Hi I’m Debbie, a spiritual director, writer and mother based in Glasgow. I offer stories, ponderings and gentle invitations to share a moment with your soul.
Hello friends,
Over the last academic year I ventured through a retreat1 in daily life. Since this finished in June I’ve been mulling over how to express something of what it meant to me. Today I’ll share the story of the retreat as a foundation, and in coming weeks I’ll share about the the tiny book of prayers, the stone and the puppy which have become the embodied symbols of this time.
For those of you who are new here, firstly Hi! Have a look at my welcome post and tell me who you are…
I write in three main threads around here:
A Host of Soul Spaces: Stories and invitations to pause and take a moment with your soul
Between the Mystic and the Mess: Spiritual Life Story writing from the intersection between family, faith and authenticity and the joy, tension and paradox I find there.
Pocket Prayers: simple suggestions for prayer.
Today I’m sharing about a recent experience on my own wandering faith journey, trod along the weedy paths of my days. You’re welcome along wherever you find yourself on that path. At the end of this post are a couple of lovely Soul Space gatherings which are coming up.
My Spiritual Direction training is Ignatian, and the ‘Spiritual Exercises’ retreat is one of the foundations of St Ignatius’ work. This branch of spirituality is known for the seeking and savouring of God in all things, the discerning of God’s call in our lives and the movement into both contemplation and action. The Spiritual Exercises are sometimes received during a 30 day silent retreat, folks will travel to Loyola (where Ignatius was born) or other retreat centres to take this time. I first heard of the Exercises when I started my training, and quickly realised that such a trip would be impossible for me. So let’s be honest, I took the huff with the idea as it seemed to me that it was only for those with the dual privilege of time and money. Also, Ignatius was a product of his time and culture (16th Century Spain) and I found some of the wording and concepts were dull, tricky or just plain offensive.
Then I discovered that there are other ways to experience The Exercises. The tradition for the Retreat in Daily Life is to take 30 weeks (approximately 9 months) instead of 30 days. The retreatant is to have a contemplative prayer time each day and meet with their spiritual director once a week. I wanted to understand more of the wisdom of this branch of spirituality, and I felt I should do this someday, but I had no actual desire to commit the time, money or energy.
That changed last summer, my life opened up a little as the twins started nursery, and this retreat in daily life finally felt practically possible. I found that my heart had softened and shifted towards it too, I was finally curious about how this would be for me. The Exercises lead the retreatant on a journey alongside the life of Jesus using imaginative prayer and other contemplative ways of being with God. In the past decade my faith has shifted and evolved and the person and purpose of Jesus have felt complicated. It’s been simpler to relate to Spirit and Mother God, but this presented an opportunity to reacquaint myself with Jesus. The Exercises also offer an opportunity to discern and make a decision, and I hoped for help with some unmade decisions lurking in the corners of my life. I tentatively filled in the form online one evening and was promptly matched up with a Spiritual Director.
My Everyday Pilgrimage (as I liked to call it) ran from September 2023 until June 2024. It’s primarily known as the 19th Annotation of the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius, but my personal rebrand helped me deal with all those lofty words. I committed to set time aside every day to quietly reflect on the bible passages and imaginative contemplations that Ignatius mapped out as a journey. I plodded my way gradually through it, allowing my life and the exercises to influence each other and I met with my Spiritual Director on Zoom every week.
It took me a few months to settle into this slow way of being with God; to overcome my inner resistance to the quiet, the lack of requests and words. These aren’t primarily petitionary prayers, asking for change or help, but more contemplative with the aim of being with God in the quiet. More than once my Spiritual Director gently called me out for all the ways that I found to distract myself. It’s vulnerable to attempt to bring yourself before the Divine just as I am, without words to hide behind.
I have a journal of entries starting ‘I’m tired, and this feels dry’. I got up early most mornings, would begin by moving through a body prayer and lighting a candle. I’d attempt to block out the sound of the house waking with earplugs and the songs of The Porters Gate. I would sit in the quiet and the peace and try to trust with my embodied self that God met me there.
And now I find myself considering, savouring and wondering how and what to share from that rich time. This way of being with the gospel stories allowed some seeds of mind knowledge to spread roots to my heart and body. There is something of this prayer experience which is asking me to harvest and share it.
I prayed for 9 months and all I have to show for it is a stone, a tiny book of tiny prayers and a puppy. Well, these are the three symbols that have stayed with me so far. Over the next wee while I’ll share about each of them here. When I hear others talk about their spiritual lives and disciplines it can often feel lofty, distant or impossible. I seek to share this from the muddle and mess of my cheerio and chore filled life. As Sarah Bessey shared recently in her Field Notes:
“The unexpected Jesus told of a Gospel in grains of wheat and mustard seeds and bread being kneaded by capable women. The gospel wasn’t far-out-there and someday-in-the-sweet-by-and-by. It was tactile and messy and embodied, mundane and touchable and common. God’s holiest work was embodied and it wasn’t precious. It wasn’t sanitized or safe. It was holy precisely because it had fingerprint smudges all over it.”
You can read more about St Ignatius and the Jesuits here and there is more information about The Spiritual Exercises here. I did mine through the Ignatian Spirituality Centre in Glasgow.
If you’d like to try out Imaginative Prayer there are some lovely resources here.
Coming Up
If you’re in Glasgow (or close by), you’re very welcome to come and join me for this one. I’m really looking forward to this Autumnal Soul Session on Sunday 20th October. There will be time to slow down and quieten ourselves, journal prompts, a lovely craft and a chance to share and hear from others. I find the connections and warmth of these gatherings quite magical. This is not a faith-based afternoon and is open to women of all faiths and none. Message me to book your space.
Join us for a sacred pause with God and together with other mums.
We will share a simple contemplative practice and have a chance to respond and listen to others.
Together we will notice and bless the presence of God in the messy mundane. Here’s a blessing of our hopes for the mums who attend.
Sessions cost £15 each and will take place on Zoom from 8-9:30pm UK Time on the following Tuesdays: 8th October & 12th November. Message me to book a space or ask any questions…
May you know meaning in the mundane, and peace in your own place.
With love,
Debbie
This is not a spa, white fluffy towel kind of retreat. Instead it’s the kind of retreat where one gets uncomfortably quiet and has to face some of what they’ve been ignoring. Perhaps a spa day would have been just the tonic alongside it!
Loved reading this. I resonated so much, especially with the challenge of un-doing. Excited to hear the stories behind the stone, the book and the puppy!
Thanks for this Debbie. I.look forward to hearing more of what you experienced on this retreat. You have inspired me to do a mini retreat this next week when my husband and daughter are away.